Why I Took A 4 Month Break From Work

Buckle in because this is a long one. This is a personal piece, written in hopes it reaches someone who can relate a little bit and maybe give themselves a break when it’s truly needed.

Who I Was

I feel as though it’s important to add a peek into my life before I theoretically got hit by a truck:

Time	What I was doing
6:30am	​Wake up! 😴
8:30am	Arrive at work after the hour and a half commute. 🚗
5:30pm	Finish work. 👩‍💻
6:30pm	Arrive home and get ready for the gym (Wednesday's and Sundays was football training). ⚽
9:00pm	​Eat, shower and scroll through my phone. 💆‍♀️
10:30pm	Time to sleep because anything less than 8hrs was risky for everyone in my path the next day... 👹

Now this routine may be seem normal for some people and too much for others. The difference is, I knew deep down I was doing too much for my body. This general routine would also feature seeing friends on the weekends and events throughout the week. Fit in a slight addition to gaming, a desire to be creative, an attempt at streaming and you have one slightly overwhelmed gal. I would repeat this cycle every week, 7 days a week. I was really hooked into the work hard, play hard, ‘hustle culture’. If that’s your thing, I’m not judging, if anything I totally get it. But I was doing well! I was thriving, starting a great career, seeing friends, making new ones, being nominated for apprentice of the year, learning, growing! So where did it go wrong?

Lets Start From The Beginning

Just before the global pandemic hit in late 2019, I got hit with a different kind of virus just before. Word of advise, always listen to your mum. She would always tell me I’m ‘burning the candle at both ends’; one of her many old expressions to go right over my head.

So, when July of 2019 came around, glandular fever was very happily ✨thriving✨ in my body. Not the kind of glandular fever that Google tells you that you can recover from within 4 weeks. To put it into perspective, it was the ‘long covid’ kind of virus. I had struggled for months trying to get back on my feet and back into work but every time resulted in me feeling 10X worse.

Hospital bed views 😎

I think my lowest point was when my were organs failing, I couldn’t move myself and the hospital doctors thought I had sepsis. At this transitional age of becoming an adult you realise that people within professions don’t have all the answers, tablets don’t always work and your parents sometimes don’t know how to help anymore than just being there. This went on for probably around a year. I was constantly fighting being ill because that just wasn’t ‘me’.

Though we all had the misery of experiencing a global pandemic, the new covid rules of working from home worked in my favour. I was able to keep working, which actually helped my sanity. Working allowed me to feel a sense of purpose over the 2 year period in which the symptoms persisted. And you’re probably thinking, ‘there is such a thing as a sick note’. And I would reply, ‘I‘d already used those, ALOT’. After getting through the worst of it, it was just the fatigue that ruled more than anything. Sitting on a computer on my living room sofa was doable. A hell of a lot more doable than doing a 3hr total commute. To this day I believe that I was still able to give my best effort, if not overcompensating because at this time working from home wasn’t the norm. I was the only exception to this rule within the company I worked for, and I’ll forever be grateful for that. However, I began to realise I was just in a continuous loop of fighting post viral fatigue syndrome and working a 9-5.

This picture shows my dad pushing me in a wheelchair just to get out of the house for a little while!

Things did get better though, I slowly got a little more energy, my tonsils were only infected once every month rather than just all the time.. but my quality of life was still low. Not being able to see friends, participate in the sport I love, and a growing anxiety.

Lets Talk About ✨Anxiety✨

England boasts a grand 1 in 4 of us will experience a mental health problem of some kind each year. I thought I was one of the lucky one’s, slipping past severe mental health struggles. But that wasn’t so, that growing anxiety really did a number on me. Unfortunately, I’m still dealing with it today. But I’m pleased to let you all know that I’m getting there. Multiple fainting episodes left me unconfident in my own physical capabilities. I’ll spare you the traumatic fainting stories! The anxiety from feeling helpless and a new lack of independence left me unrecognisable from the girl who couldn’t sit still. I got into a system of taking paracetamol, ibuprofen, propranolol, a bit of food and a sufficient amount of water for the day everywhere I went. I would also never be alone.

Silver linings

Throughout the whole of covid and dealing with my own personal issues, I feel as though it would be unjustified to not mention how incredibly privileged I am. Something as simple as having a back garden during a pandemic makes the world a difference. Not to forget all the physical and emotional support from my family, my girlfriend, friends and job.

The best work assistant

Despite all I had, I knew I still wouldn’t be myself or reach my full potential just simply continuing as if nothing had happened. It wasn’t just my personal life on hold but also career.

So Why Did I Choose A Sabbatical?

Short answer, I didn’t. It’s not a secret that we all spend 30% of our life in work. So, I knew this was going to, sadly, be the piece of my life I needed to sacrifice for a while to really hone in on myself.

After months of quarantine, feeling sorry for myself and long conversations with my girlfriend. We came up with a plan. Lets go to Brazil for 4 months! Ok, so I know that sounds random, but my girlfriend is actually from Brazil. We saw this as not only an opportunity to really get to know her culture, her family and friends and put my Portuguese into practice, but the chance for me to focus on my health. I knew I’d be in great hands with her family; her mum being one of the most organised people I’ve ever met and her dad being a pharmacist.

So, why stay there for so long? I needed to truly break the cycle I was in and start afresh. It also gave us enough time for me to really take care of my health, explore Brazil, and feel alive; something I hadn’t felt for a long time!

Now I just needed to break the news to a job that’s supported me this whole time? AH😳. I simply didn’t know that a sabbatical was an option, but after speaking with my managers about my plans, the idea of a sabbatical came up. Grateful, I jumped at the chance.

So Who Am I Now?

Someone who certainly has a better understanding of chronic fatigue, that’s for sure. All in all, this sabbatical was honestly life changing. I really see this as a new beginning for myself. Not to toot my own horn but I really utilised these 4 months to the absolute max. I had a full body MOT. I received iron infusions to help with the fatigue, I’m on the right medication, I took my tonsils out and I’m feeling a million times more confident in my physical capabilities than when I left England. I even had time to complete the BlueArray Tech SEO Course and make this little site! So I hope to enter England a lot more healthy, a lot less anxious and a little more bronzed. With a great appreciation for how welcoming and loving the people of Brazil are. I hope to take some of their confidence and curtesy with me.

My girlfriend and I on our last trip in Brazil

Congratulations!

If you made it this far, well done honestly, what a read. I have to admit it was a little therapeutic to write it all down and be in a position of reflection, something I’ve dreamed of since July 2019! I’ve never been afraid to be open and totally overshare but now you know me a hell of a lot more. Feel free to ask any questions below or message me, it would be great to hear from you 😊